It is such a killer of teams, individuals and projects of all kinds. The heart of our survival “machinery” is the reaction that stops the action, deters people from playing 100% and mostly leaves a trail of broken relationships, dissatisfied participants and waste of a great possibility.

That reaction is being “right,” and it requires that one must make someone else wrong given we don’t live in a vacuum. Polarization is the immediate result (you know, North Pole/South Pole), and in the process people take away their trust and spend their time justifying why they are right.

I founded Todd Team Coaching over 30 years ago, and have worked with all kinds of athletic teams at the college level. Something happens and it is interpreted in a particular way and that leads to both parties spending time and energy proving their position. What keeps it in place is the unwillingness of people to take responsibility for their end of the deal.

Life is a dance and as in dancing it takes two to tango. On teams, when this is going on everyone on the team has a responsibility for the continued existence of the problem. You cannot change another person. You cannot change the past. You CAN change your interpretation of the past. You CAN be unwilling to throw your team or teammates under the bus. You CAN shift from being part of the problem to part of the solution. You CAN be willing to forgive the past and fulfill the possibility of having a great experience. You always have a choice.

To do this, you have to let go of your opinion in favor of committing to a 100% effort on behalf of the team that includes coaches and players. I am not talking about winning and losing that, of course, is part of the picture. I am talking about being able to appreciate one of the great activities available, and that is the competition together at the highest levels of any sport.

Very few people have this opportunity and it only lasts for a short while. It provides a great laboratory for discovery of what one is capable of in being an effective human being and what it takes to be excellent regardless of the circumstances. What isn’t realized is that you always have a choice. You can choose to take responsibility for your team’s performance and set your sights on what is the possibility of this experience or you can let the past dictate your actions and dilute or even totally miss the greatness of the experience.

We come into this life alone and we go out alone. However, it is a long walk in between and how great that walk can be if you do it with a group of people who love and respect each other in good times and bad. Nothing draws people together like a common effort where you know you gave all you had and the people around you did the same. That’s all the people all the time.

That high level of participation is only possible when each participant is willing to take responsibility for the whole. It is like this—100% in or you are out. No, “I am in as long as it goes the way I want it to go.” If you are waiting for evidence that you can make this choice you will never get it. Life is risky business. If you are unwilling to take a risk you will always be less than what you could be. Just remember, the riskiest thing you ever did when you were a kid was also the most fun. Let’s play ball!

Don’t forget …

CHECK COACH TODD’S COACHING BOOKS TO SUPPORT YOUR LEADERSHIP EFFORTS.