I think the Achilles heel for human beings is the addiction to œlooking good. So what do I mean by that?

First of all, it is an inauthentic way of presenting oneself so that we appear to know and understand EVERYTHING. We are always on top of things, i.e., œin control.

Given what we control (virtually nothing), being in control is a failed exercise to begin with. You and I dont know all there is to know regardless of the subject.

Lets take the broadcasters of your favorite sporting events. Look at all the ways they attempt to look good:

-They know everything the coach should be doing. If the coach did do something else,
how would they know what would have happened?
-They talk on and on and on. I thought it was television.
-They invent non-sense terms so they appear to be clever. My favorite is œscore
the basketball. What the hell else are you going to score? If the announcer says he
scored are you thinking anything other than the ball went through the basket?
-They are self-deprecating because they know their broadcast partner will dispute
what they say so they will œlook good.
-They dont say what is really on their mind because it might upset someone or they
jump on someone because everyone else is doing it. Did not saying ANYTHING
ever occur to anyone?
-They all know what each player needs to work on to be good. No one knows the
team as well as the coach does, but it may appear that they never thought of
something.
-It is always interesting that the broadcaster always knows when the coach should call
a timeout or take a player out of the game. They are only around two or three times a
year but they œknow.

In general, we will do or not do several things in a day so we will look good. We lie for example. We lie because we think the truth might make us look bad. We justify our behavior with a laundry list of reasons so as to not have to take responsibility for whatever happened. Many times our justifications are at the expense of someone else. We say one thing and do another. All to look good.

I am especially addressing the media because they are well known. People give them credit for their opinions as if those opinions were true. They damage peoples lives with things they say under the guise of œtelling the truth.

The truth is just theirs. Anyones point of view is their reality. If it is used that way, have at it. Thats why we have Freedom of Speech. I know that I need to support anyones right to say what they say. I do not have to support what they say or how they say it.

If you are willing to check it out, notice how many things you do or say every day so that you will œlook good. It is a natural reaction that occurs in all kinds of situations.

If you are a leader in your organization just begin to notice how many times the appropriate response to a particular question would be œI dont know. It is not required that you know everything. In fact, there is no way you can. As the leader you may be responsible for finding out. That is very different from thinking you should know.

There is not œthe answer anyway. Find out what you need to move forward. See what else you and your team can discover. They will appreciate being included.

My latest book, œThe Art of Losing”Coaching Athletics and Thriving in a Made-for-TV World will be online this week on lulu.com.