It is such a killer of teams, individuals and projects of all kinds. The heart of our survival “machinery” is the reaction that stops the action, deters people from playing 100% and mostly leaves a trail of broken relationships, dissatisfied participants and a waste of a great possibility.

That reaction is being “right,” which requires that one must make someone else wrong … given we don’t live in a vacuum. Polarization is the immediate result (you know, North Pole/South Pole), and in the process people take away their trust and spend their time justifying why they are right.

Todd Team Coaching, which I founded some 27 years ago, has and does work with all kinds of athletic teams at the college level and has done so over this span of time. Something happens, and it is interpreted a particular way that leads to both parties spending time and energy proving their position. What I see that keeps it in place is the unwillingness of people to take responsibility for their end of the deal.

 

Life is a dance, and as in dancing it takes two to tango. On teams when this is going on, everyone on the team has responsibility for the continued existence of the problem. I cannot change another person. I cannot change the past. I can change my interpretation of the past. I can be unwilling to throw my team or teammates under the bus. I can shift from being part of the problem to part of the solution. I can be willing to forgive the past and fulfill the possibility of having a great experience. You always have a choice.

 

To do this I have to let go of my opinion in favor of committing to a 100% effort on behalf of the team, and that includes both coaches and players. I am not talking about winning and losing, which, of course, is part of the picture. I am talking about being able to appreciate one of the great activities available, and that is the competition together at the highest levels of any sport.

 

Very few people have this opportunity and it only lasts for a short while. It provides a great laboratory for discovery of what one is capable of in being an effective human being and what it takes to be excellent regardless of the circumstances. What isn’t realized is that you always have a choice. You can choose to take responsibility for your team’s performance and set your sights on what is the possibility of this experience, or you can let the past dictate your actions, dilute and even totally miss the greatness of the experience.

 

We come into this life alone and we go out alone. However, it is a long walk in between, and that walk can be great if you do it with a group of people who love and respect each other in good times and bad. Nothing draws people together like a common effort where you know you gave all you had and the people around you did the same … that’s all the people all the time.

 

That high level of participation is only possible when each participant is willing to take responsibility for the whole. It is like this–100% in or you are out. No, “I am in as long as it goes the way I want it to go.” If you are waiting for evidence that you can make this choice you will never get it. Life is risky business. If you are unwilling to take a risk you will always be less than what you could be. Just remember, the riskiest thing you ever did when you were a kid was also the most fun. Let’s play ball.