In the worlds of sports, business and even in our personal relationships we can feel”pressured.” What has us feel that way. i.e., the source of this feeling? Is it real or imagined? Do we have anything to say about our experience of being under pressure?

The first thing I would have you consider is that no one makes us do anything we don’t want to do. The literal or figurative “gun to our head” still leaves us with a choice, slim as it might be. Most of the experiences we have are not that life-threatening. Even so, we still have a choice.

So much of the pressure we feel comes from lack of integrity. Integrity, as in, keeping your word. Doing what we say we will do and with our best effort. And, yes, cleaning up our failures at the earliest available time. Even when our intentions are the most honorable we are clear that we know we didn’t get the job done.

When someone that you have given your word checks-in with you to see how you are are doing, what’s your reaction? Are you offended? Do you think you are being micro-managed? Don’t they trust you? Or, is it great that they are supporting me in keeping my word?

There is no pressure really. Therefore, it is how we interpret the facts. There is no pressure in doing what we say we will do. Perhaps, what creates pressure is the failure to keep our word and the attempt to “look good” in the process. There is no choice in reaction. Perhaps the game is what do I do to empower myself to keep my word. Or, create a partnership that supports my efforts.

The answer lies in the qualities of the relationships I have with my teammates, colleagues or, even, family. Do I see their actions in support of my efforts rather than some kind of harassment? Am I being supportive of them, regardless of the circumstances? Do I know what I need to know about their intentions to be able to thank them appropriately? My stand is, “you are my teammate and I am committed to your success. I know you are committed to mine.”
Take a peak at the coaching bookstore for great books that will support your efforts.