In a previous blog, I talked about two things: œrelationship is the key to everything, and the key to having a great relationship is a concept called 100%-0%.
In other words, I commit 100% of my energy to figuring out what I can do to have the relationship work. To do this, it might be useful to distinguish what 100% looks like.
Coaches have been talking to their athletes forever about giving 100% effort. They even started talking about giving 110% which is, of course, nonsense. Consider that the outstanding effort is merely the closest the athlete has come to 100%.
100% is and ideal which them makes it unattainable. To fully grasp what 100%-0% is about, consider 100% is mastery. You could be thinking, mastery of what? Mastery of the Art of Relating.
It is very likely that there will be those relationships that our 100% effort was insufficient to provide what was needed to continue the relationship. Things do not always turn out the way we would want. If I know I did all I could see to do, I can let it go. It is no longer an issue for me. No woulda, coulda, shouldas.
Back to mastery. Mastery is a path I am on, not a place to get to. In mastery (or 100%) there is growth and development. There is high intention and clear commitments. There are the actions to back them up.
Every action I take is not going to turn out. I cant let that stop me. Action is the only thing that produces anything. If I am giving 100% it requires some specific actions.
Number one, my actions need to be a match for the intentions I have and the commitments I have made. Otherwise, my talk is cheapened and, we create our life in our talk.
Number two, when I fail to do what I say I will do I must take the responsibility for cleaning it up. No loose ends. If I fully complete a relationship that didnt work it is possible to have a platform from which to create a new relationship in the future.
This is not pie in the sky. My business partner, Sharon, for nearly 25 years was my wife for 20 of those years. Despite a divorce, we were able to create a business relationship that works.
The last thing I want to say is that having great relationships in every area of your life is simple. Be clear I did not say easy. It requires that we practice 100% in ALL the relationships we have.
Remember, 100% is just a path, like mastery. Are you learning, growing and fully engaging in the game? That is the question to keep asking yourself.
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